


Tears at Pastor Jim’s

by Strength_in_pain



Series: John and his boys [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Comforting big brother Dean, Crying Dean Winchester, Crying Sam Winchester, Gen, Guilty John Winchester, Happy Ending, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of tears, Protective Pastor Jim, Sad Dean Winchester, Sad Sam Winchester, Weechesters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-10 23:12:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15959576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strength_in_pain/pseuds/Strength_in_pain
Summary: “I’m so sorry.” John said, which alarmed Pastor Jim in a million different ways. Since when did John Winchester apologize? Normally, John would stop over and drop the boys off for Jim to watch without a second thought. But this evening, he was soft-spoken. His eyes held immense amounts of guilt, and that just wasn’t like John Winchester.“I know this is short notice, and they’re crying and -““You know you’re more than welcome here.” Jim says, stepping aside and allowing his friend to enter his home.





	Tears at Pastor Jim’s

> **Tears at Pastor Jim’s**
> 
> **Blue Earth, Minnesota. 1986.**
> 
> **Dean 7, Sam 3.**

In his quaint home, Pastor Jim Murphy relaxed on his couch reading a book. He was about to call it a night, seeing how his eyes were drooping but a knock at the door changed his mind. He opened the door and shook his head in disbelief. 

In the middle of a full-on rain storm, stood none other than John Winchester and his two little boys. As soon as Jim opened the door, Dean ran inside, all the way to the guest bedroom with tear streaming down his face. Jim watched the boy run off, before turning to John with a questioning glare. 

“Rough night?” He asked, noticing the other little boy in John’s arms was crying as well. 

Sam, well, Sam was actually crying John’s ears off. His face was nuzzled in John’s neck, staining his coat with water. Although, the coat was already wet with rain. John could feel the wet patch from Sam’s tears form, but he didn’t know how to quiet Sam down.  

“I’m so sorry.” John said, which alarmed Pastor Jim in a million different ways. Since when did John Winchester apologize? Normally, John would stop over and drop the boys off for Jim to watch without a second thought. But this evening, he was soft-spoken. His eyes held immense amounts of guilt, and that just wasn’t like John Winchester.

“I know this is short notice, and they’re crying and -“

“You know you’re more than welcome here.” Jim says, stepping aside and allowing his friend to enter his home. 

Honestly, John feels like dropping to his knees to thank his friend, but he’s soaking wet, freezing and in a big hurry. It’s not the first time Jim’s taken care of John’s boys. In fact, he’s watched them multiple times before. The boys love him. He has a bunch of toys in his house along with a big shelf of children’s books. Since they loved spending time with him, Jim wondered why both boys were crying. Surely, they weren’t afraid to spend the night at his house. Maybe they were afraid of leaving their Daddy? Sometimes Sammy would cling to John and beg for him to stay. Then John would have to peel his youngest off of him and place him in Jim’s arms. Sam would squirm, scream, and cry for a good fifteen minutes after John left, before he finally gave up and realized his Daddy had to go.

Once John entered the house, he placed the duffle bag on the floor. He bounced Sam up and down on his hip, trying desperately to shush him. 

“Long car ride?” Jim asked, peaking an eyebrow. 

John nodded solemnly. He was standing bleary-eyed and unshaven, resting his chin on top of his sad three-year-old’s head. “I’ll say.” He muttered.

Pastor Jim stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, waiting for John’s next move. Again, typically, John never stayed very long. He would drop his boys off with a quick kiss and leave. But today, he was lingering, acting in a hurry, but not making any moves to go. 

Pastor Jim’s ears registered Dean’s loud sobbing from all the way across the hall, where the bedroom was. It hurt. Too much for a Thursday evening, Jim thought, as he watched the small family break down right before his eyes. 

“What happen, John?” His voice was full of concern, and he was hoping to give a motivational speech to make things better. 

“Nothing. They just... we were tired.” John was struggling to say something. “Sammy’s just upset. It’s the first time I ever spanked him.” John hesitantly admitted. Jim wasn’t sure what he was expecting John to say, but it definitely wasn’t that. “I had to,” John quickly defended, “they kept misbehaving, and I had a headache, and they were kicking the seat, and I swerved and scrapped the side of the impala off of a wall. And it was Mary’s favorite car... God, we basically conceived Dean in that heap of junk, and it means the world to me and when I saw what had happened. Because of the kicking. And Mary would’ve been so upset. She...They both cried and I....” Pastor Jim put a gentle hand on John’s shoulder, his heart bleeding for the grieving man. “I shouldn’t have done it.” John admitted, looking visibly ashamed. “Not like that. It was Sammy’s first and Dean was so shaken....where is Dean?”

“He’s in his room.” Jim said quietly. Little Sammy had cried harder at his Daddy’s words, and Jim watched him pitifully. The boy’s hair was lying flat on his forehead, and completely soaked by the rain and his tears. Sam reached out for Pastor Jim, his hand so tiny compared to Jim’s. 

John allowed his baby to go with Pastor Jim, he practically thrusted Sam into his arms. 

“I have to go on a hunt.” John mumbled walking down the hall. Jim followed cautiously behind. 

John stopped by the door frame to Dean’s room. He saw Dean curled up in the large duvets, somehow managing to look smaller than Sammy. John saw the clenched fists, and the lip-biting, and suddenly, he felt like the biggest asshole in the world. 

He crouched down in front of Dean, ignoring Pastor Jim’s prying eyes.

“I shouldn’t have done that, Dean,” he whispered, hand searching for Dean’s. When he entwined their fingers, he noticed how Dean was trembling. “It wasn’t your fault, okay?” His voice was rough, some of the syllables swallowed down with the tears he was trying so hard to hold back. 

Dean didn’t move, he used his long sleeve shirt to wipe away the tears that were steaming down his face. John sighed heavily, then leaned over the bed to kiss his cheek. “I know you’re mad at me, but I have to leave, so give me quick hug.”

He wraps his arms around the younger boy’s shivering frame to emphasise his monologue. Dean seemed hesitant when hugging John, but his face was nuzzled in his dad’s neck. The man pulled himself away painfully. There’s nothing more he wanted than to stay with his two boys and hold them until their tears stopped, but he couldn’t. 

John walked over to Jim, and kissed Sammy’s messy brown hair. “I love you baby.” He whispered, “I won’t be gone long. I’ll be back sometime tomorrow.” Sammy turned his face into Pastor Jim’s neck, trying to avoid his daddy at all costs. He was still screaming and sobbing, a never-ending stream of tears flowing down his cheeks. 

John tried to ignore the way his eyes stung. At least Pastor Jim was slightly comforting, promising John that his boys would be fine. 

He walked towards the door, but changed direction again, and went back in the house. “Maybe he wants his pacifier? Sammy’s likes sucking his thumb, but the pacifier might give him more comfort.” 

Pastor Jim nodded, “Okay. I’ll go grab it.” But John beat him to it. The young hunter pulled out a Scooby doo pacifier from the baby bag and handed it to Sammy. Unfortunately, Sammy was rejecting anything his father tried to do, which only added to John’s pain and guilt. It was plain as day, John wanted to stay with his boys. Pastor Jim could see by the way he lingered around. 

“Hey John, maybe you should stay with your boys?” 

“No.” John shook his head. “I have to go.” With that, he finally walked out the door for good, but not without one long, sad stare. 

Jim sat across the bed where Dean was crying in anguish and listened. The baby in his arms was quieting down slightly, now that his Daddy was gone. Sam lifted his little head away from Jim’s neck. He scanned the room, finally being able to focus on something other than avoiding his dad. When his puffy hazel-green eyes landed on Dean, he was quick to reach a hand out to him. 

“Dean!” He called, “De! De! Dean!” His little chubby hands were far away from where his brother was, and Sammy was not happy about this. He squirmed earnestly, fussing and kicking Pastor Jim in the chest. “Want Dean! Want Dean!” He screamed. 

Standing up, Pastor Jim took Sammy to his brother’s side, placing him on the bed. He wrapped a hand around Sam’s waist so he wouldn’t fall. 

“Dean.”  Sam said, putting his chubby hand on Dean’s face. He moved the hand up to his brother’s hair, gripping the short brown strands and tugging lightly. “Dean’s sad.” He informed pastor Jim, looking up at the man, as if begging for him to make it better. 

“I know buddy. Dean is sad just like you were sad.”

“Did Daddy hit Dean too?” Sam asked quietly, looking down at his older brother’s crying frame. Everything in Sam’s world was wrong. His big brother was suppose to be comforting him. But Dean couldn’t comfort him because Dean was hurt. But Dean never got hurt. It bothered Sammy worse than his own pain a few minutes ago and he suddenly burst into loud noisy tears. 

Pastor Jim cringed at the noise, wishing this anguish would stop. “Do either of you want some hot chocolate?” He carefully lifted Sammy and put him on the other side of Dean to ensure he wouldn’t fall off the bed. Even though he got no answer, Pastor Jim went to make two small cups of coco. 

Once pastor Jim was gone, Dean slouched on his elbow, propping himself upright. “Shhh.” He pulled Sam to his chest. Sam’s fingers dug into his shirt, and Dean could feel his lips, which were pressed against his chest, tremble. “Your okay now, Sammy. Everything’s okay.”

“It was so scary, Dean. The way Daddy screamed at us. He was so mad.” Sam let out a series of terrified whines. 

“I know. Shhh. I know.” Dean’s own tears were still falling, but he had a better handle on his trembling voice. At least it wasn’t cracking every sentence. “It’s over now. Daddy’s sorry.” Dean said. 

“I don’t like him.” Sam cried, rubbing a hand over the seat of his pants. “Daddy hurts. And he yells.” 

Dean scoffed, “Yeah. Well we probably shouldn’t have kicked his seat. Come on Sammy you know we we’re being annoying. We kinda deserved it. But yeah, he shouldn’t have yelled at us like that. I don’t know why he did that. It was scary.” 

Sam nodded vigorously. Everything Dean said was true. If Dean thought it was deserved, it must have been deserved. And if Dean thought Daddy was scary, he must have been really scary. 

By the time Pastor Jim got back, Sam was curled up against Dean’s chest, his brother’s duvet thrown over his body. Dean smiles when Jim hands him his mug, even though he can barely keep his eyes open. It takes no more than ten minutes for him to fall asleep. Sam on the other hand stays awake for a while, playing with the button’s on his brother’s shirt. His head, which was on Dean’s chest, was rising and falling with his brother’s even breathing. 

“I don’t like when Dean’s sad.” Sam told pastor Jim quietly. The older man, looked up from his book, with a smile on his face. 

“That was an odd thought.” Jim said.

Sam didn’t respond, he just clutched his brother’s shirt tighter and closed his eyes. Soon, Jim could hear soft snores coming from the youngest boy. He wondered briefly, why Sammy felt the need to voice his last comment. At least he was concerned about his older brother. Jim classified that as a win. 

It’s sunny outside when John appears on Jim’s doorstep. His face distorted with worry, as he paced up and down the steps. John bombards Jim with questions as soon as the door is opened. 

“How are they?” John asked, rushing into the house. 

Dean and Sam pause their game of tag and run into their Daddy’s arms, almost knocking him over with their strength. They immediately start talking his ears off, overwhelming him with stories about their day, and John listens with relief. He felt tears prick at the corners of his eyes because he felt like he didn’t deserve their forgiveness. 

“You have a blessed family, John.” Pastor Jim said, giving his friend a pat on the back. 

John envelops Dean and Sam in his arms, trying his hardest to pour all his love into the hug. His kids feel so small in the embrace, so fragile. It brings back the sick feeling John had yesterday when he hurt them. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t a good boy, yesterday, Daddy.”  Sammy’s apology set off a fresh wave of tears, and John had to breathe for a second to keep himself from crying as well. He can feel Sam trembling in his grip, can almost hear him panic about spankings and time-outs and punishments in general after what happened yesterday. 

“Sammy, you are a very good boy. We all had a bad day yesterday, but that doesn’t mean any of us are bad people. Although, I certainly feel like a jerk.” 

Sam nodded weakly, allowing his Daddy to dry his tears. John lifts him up and wraps Sam’s legs around his waist. 

They all sat down at Pastor Jim’s table to eat a large steaming hot pot roast, and exchange stories about everything and anything. Dean and Sam were hyper little rascals as they drew in their coloring books. The table cloth was completely covered in crayons, but Pastor Jim didn’t mind. Superman and Batman had a blueish yellow, and red cape and that’s all that mattered. 

John kept his kids close for the next few hours, smiling at them. He truly did have a blessed little family. 


End file.
